Unparental Advice

I have to be careful, because sometimes I get inspired to write something and when I think about it, I have to step back because I find myself on the verge of giving parenting advice, {begin sarcasm font} which I'm totally not qualified to do {end sarcasm font.} 

It really sticks in my crawl when people tell me I don't know how to parent.  "You're not a mom, so you don't understand."  Even my family is guilty of saying this to me on a few occasions, and it drives me BANANAS.  I'm sorry, but do you know me?  Just because I'm not a parent doesn't mean I don't know how to do it.  I know some of you moms reading this are thinking that. I can get through a night of babysitting without anything being set on fire and with everyone keeping all their fingers and toes, thankyouverymuch. 

1.  I'm a woman.  I have maternal instincts because of that, and even if I were in a situation that I didn't have time to think about, good ole intuition would just take over. 

2.  I've been around kids my whole life.  I'm the oldest of my siblings, so I watched my mom raise two kids under me.  I had classmates and friends who were raised by their grandparents or who had a broken family or divorced parents.  I've seen a lot of different types of parents.

3.  I have nieces.  I know the basics:  when there's a poopy diaper, I yell for my siblings; when they have to eat, I puree it in the blender so they don't choke; when they start crying, so do I.  Car seat?  Forget it.  Got it.

4.  I was a teacher.  I'm still a teacher at heart.  OH - analogy alert.  Just hit me.  You can only understand what it's like to teach if you've done it, right?  Can you write a lesson plan with a clear, assessable objective and align the activities with the Common Core Standards?  Probably not, unless someone shows you.  Can I measure out your baby's formula amounts for an entire day?  Probably not, unless someone shows me.  Those are just logistics of the business, anyway.  Teaching and parenting are so much alike it's ridiculous.  Teachers and parents inspire, engage, motivate, encourage, guide, discipline, foster learning, act as a role model....among so many other things. 
Parents would die for their kids.  I would have died for my students, absolutely.  I would die for my nieces in a heartbeat. 
When I was in the classroom, it was evident that some kids were just so needy for all of those things.  When I was growing up, it was the implied consensus that your teacher is your parent away from home.  I think that's less of a mindset now, because society can't decide what lines or boundaries teachers can and can't cross anymore. 
I called one of my teachers "Mom" once:  Mrs. Wise, my middle school band teacher.  She was my flute mom.
My dear friend Anne, who passed away last August after losing her battle to cancer, was a Kindergarten teacher in her early years, but she never had children of her own.  At her funeral, someone said (and I'm paraphrasing here) that God never gave Anne children, so He gave her to all the children.   That's all I really want to say about that.

                                                              *********     

I'm working at a bridal salon part time now (ICYMI, and I'm not saying which one just to take that extra step in keeping myself out of trouble) and every night, we have to clean all the mirrors.  The only reason we have to do that is because kids come in and TOUCH ALL THE GLASS, so there are sticky, greasy, sugary, dirty handprints everywhere.  E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.  Mirrors are not red buttons - you don't have to touch them, okay?
There was a little girl a couple weeks ago tell me that she was bored and suggested that she and her sister play hide-and-seek in the racks.  Um, NO. And it's not so much that I care if she played hide-and-seek, I just didn't want to clean up the mess afterward.  You know, dresses all over the floor, broken hangers, probably some wet spots from slobber and boogers.  No, thanks.  That last one actually made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.
A bridal salon is not a good place for kids under 6.  There's nothing for them to do.  They get bored.  We don't have coloring books or puzzles or one of those beaded table things.  We don't have chocolate or kittens.  But, I digress.

Moral of the story: don't be rude and don't be assumptive.  I don't imagine anyone will ever come to me for parenting advice, because I tend to be a little raw (you don't say)....but just know that I have a completely objective view and can probably give you some decent insight; honest at the very least.